About Me

About Me

Transform & Thrive

Who am I?

Hi there! I am Benaifer Kolah – daughter, wife, mum to two, sister, friend, life coach. If you have any questions or just want to say hello, I would be delighted to chat with you. And while we’re at it, I think it’s important you know a little bit about my journey as we become coaching friends.

 

I cannot be thankful enough for the wonderful life I’ve lived so far. The universe has been nothing but kind. I have a wonderful, caring and loving family, adequate finances, food on my table, and a roof over my head. Then why was I feeling like I didn’t belong? Was I ungrateful?

Two years ago, I went through a particularly dark period in my life. Fortunately, I was aware enough to know that something wasn’t right and that I had to change it. I put in all my effort and pushed myself to get out of that darkness. Luckily I made it through, but I also realized that I needed to be the change that I was looking for. 

As I was trying to uncover my deepest turmoil, I went through terrible guilt about being ungrateful. But was I really? As I went further along my discovery path, I knew I was not. I was just stuck where I was, demotivated, in a job I didn’t like, doing everything women “are supposed to do” as daughters/wives/mothers, saying yes when I wanted to say no, thinking about everyone but myself. I was always looking for approval, trying to show everyone I was not what they made me out to be. I was trying too hard.

I was losing myself.

What can coaching help you with?

BUILDING HABITS

Do you find yourself starting new things all the time, but losing interest quickly? Is there something you think you want to change in your life, but don’t know how? Do you want to form some good habits but cannot get started?

TOXIC POSITIVITY

How often do you tell yourself to “be positive”? “It’s OK, it will pass.” “He/she/they have it much worse. Be grateful.” “Be brave.” “Surely God has something better planned for you.”

Do you really feel as positive as you say?

DEALING WITH GRIEF AND ACCEPTANCE

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DEALING WITH GRIEF AND ACCEPTANCE

Are you suffering from a massive loss in your life? A relationship or a loved one? Are you finding it challenging to understand what it is you are actually feeling – pain, shock, denial, anger, hope?

DEALING WITH GUILT

Is there something you think you did wrong, and you wish you could they have done differently?

NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

Who do you see when you look in the mirror? What do you hear when you speak to yourself? Would you say to others, what you say to yourself?

BURNOUT

Do you feel like you are giving and giving to all areas of your life – personal and professional – but not getting appreciated in return? Are you repeating the same mistakes over and over? Are you seeing a pattern?

LACK OF AN ACTION PLAN

There is all this that you want to do, all this that you are trying to achieve, but you don’t seem to be moving forward. You are unable to work out a clear plan and feel like you’re stuck at the start line.

TOXIC POSITIVITY

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GAINING CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE

You have always been in control before, but you have reached a stage when you are unable to make things happen like you used to, and you cannot figure out what has changed.

LOST ENERGY

You are doing the same thing day in & day out. You feel lost, unenergized, frustrated, even angry at times; making you feel like life is not worth the effort anymore.

FINDING YOURSELF IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

You are trying your utmost to be a respectful child, loving spouse, wonderful parent, reliable sibling – but in all this you are losing your own identity and you no longer know who you are.

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OVERCOMING LIMITING SELF-DOUBT

I’m not good enough. I’m too old. What will people think of me? I’m not capable. I have no experience. I’m not popular enough. I’m not connected enough.
Are these thoughts that play in your mind whenever you want to try something new?

INABILITY TO LET GO

You may find yourself incapable of letting go of things that have long come and gone. You are dwelling in past experiences and failures, which are not allowing you to move to success in the future.

MIND OVER MATTER

You may be experiencing negative feelings and assumptions about yourself or your situation. You know that they are not actually real, but you cannot stop feeling this way. You lack motivation, experience difficulty in communicating and give up on everything before you even start.

The year is 2021. The world as we know it is undergoing an evolution. 

2020 was undoubtedly a year of great challenge and turmoil. For many, it completely changed their lives. So many of us have lost loved ones, jobs, sources of income. Parents, children, teachers, medical professionals, business owners, governments, and the common people have had their lives overturned overnight.

But inside this chaos and uncertainty was also the seed of opportunity! Although a period of difficulty for me as well since I lost my corporate job, I gained the clarity that I needed, to have a purpose in my work and life. Instead of focusing on a paycheck, I realized that I had to restructure my goal to do what I so desperately wanted to do, which was to support as many people as possible in doing the things they want to do to change for the better.

I believe we are entering into a new era rooted in compassion, unity, love, and fulfilment. There is no lack of bright and creative people around us, but a serious dearth of empathetic and compassionate ones. This, for me, is a chance to serve others as well as explore my own sense of purpose with more freedom than I ever thought possible.

I am very passionate about this because we live in a world where people are constantly stressed, overcoming insomnia and sleep problems, trying hard to keep their life on track, and looking for help. I believe we’re long overdue for passionate people to step up and start filling this colossal need.

So I decided it was time to change the story, which was supposed to be the rest of my life. I turned the loss of my corporate role into an opportunity to work toward what I knew would bring me the fulfilment I was looking for. It allowed me the possibility to take action to serve others in need, and in turn, become a more fulfilled version of myself.

Where am I?

Why am I?​

My kids are my world. I could do almost anything for them. As I was struggling alone, I was trying very hard to keep myself strong for them, always smiling, always keeping a happy face around them (and letting out my frustration in tears in the bathroom)… until that fateful day when my teenage son asked me, “Are you depressed, Mummy?” His question struck me like a bolt of lightning. It proved to me how perceiving children are. It also showed me that everything had to change.

 

It is famously said that change is scary at first, messy in the middle, and glorious in the end. Slowly, I started working through my fears first, and then the mess. But I knew I needed a little help to get to the end. So I approached a friend who is a certified life coach, and she opened my eyes to a different part of my world I did not know to look for.

Slowly, I pushed myself back on track. As I built myself back up piece by piece, I knew countless people in the world would have gone through what I had or even worse, who would possibly not even know what they were going through, who may not have the help they needed or that “someone” to talk to. That’s when I knew what I truly wanted to do.

I strongly believe that we all can live a greater and more fulfilling life; we just need to know how and where to start! We need the support to break down the barriers in our minds and create positive habits to achieve even the biggest of goals. We need to be brave enough to accept positive changes which are inevitable along the path to new beginnings – and I am here to help!

My purpose as a transformational life coach is to help you gain awareness of not only your vision and goals, but also your deeply held beliefs which may be holding you back from accomplishing everything that you want. My purpose is to help you create the foundation for the life that you truly want and deserve to have, in a safe and confidential space. I am a mindset and confidence coach, here to challenge you out of your comfort zone and ensure you apply consistent action. I am here to help you discover your strengths, how to let go of anger, guilt, and other negative emotions, and focus on creating balance, success, and happiness in your life!  

I am here for one purpose only - to help you transform and thrive!

Benaifer

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